- When a red light changes to green, the first car will not go. It just won’t.
- Turn signals are only to be used when you don’t even intend to turn.
- It is customary for you to park your car in the right lane of traffic, even when the parking lane has ample room to pull over.
- The parking lane is for passing.
- The passing lane is for parking.
- No matter how long a car has stopped traffic, if anyone honks even once, that person is immediately obligated to flip you all off. And keep sitting there.
- It’s ok for you to endanger drivers in several lanes simultaneously if it means you can get even one car ahead in the traffic.
- When you are forced to merge, do not do so until the very last moment.
- SEPTA buses do not always stop at red lights. Sometimes, regular cars do not stop either.
- “One way” does not mean what you think it means.
Stay tuned for next week’s installment: Guidelines for parking in Philadelphia.